Kaitlyn Cartone
I do not have enough fingers or hands to count the number of times Jesus has whispered to me, “little girl, arise.”
"little girl, arise"
He calls me his beloved daughter and honestly, sometimes I forget that. It’s easy to forget when you are caught up in the normal day-to-day living. When you are rushing from one place to another, barely having any time to sit down for a moment and catch your breath. I have mounds of papers to grade and hours of lessons to plan, but here I sit, pushing it aside and begging God to pour out His unending, relentless love to me.
There have been numerous times where I feel like I am in the boat with a storm raging around me. I panic asking Jesus to do something just like the Apostles did out at sea, “Teacher, do you not care that [I am] perishing?”
However, Jesus' response to them was what He is speaking to me right now & what He might be speaking to you – “Quiet! Be still…Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?” (Mark 4:38-40)
In every moment of panic, anxiety, fear, and doubt Jesus is there saying "Be still! Do you not yet have faith? Do you not know who holds your future?"
As I look back on these past few years I have experienced heartbreak, loneliness, desolation, and that all-consuming fear. Lately, I have been consumed with fear about my future. What does it hold? Is it going to be good for me? Am I going to be happy? Again, Jesus says “Quiet! Be still!”
As I look back at all of those hard times, I recognize one thing - the same God that never fails will not fail me now. *begins jamming to Yes, I will by Vertical Worship*
"the same God that never fails will not fail me now."
Has God ever failed you? He has never failed me! In fact, years ago, I spent many nights crying, like the ugly cry, begging Jesus to send me good spiritual friends, ones who will draw me closer to Him. And MAN, did Jesus deliver that promise abundantly. In fact, I have leaned on so many of these friends this past year throughout every up and down.
My friend, Emma, recently sent me those verses from Mark about the Apostles out at sea with a message that said “He hears you and He loves you.” Little did she know, I was terrified at that moment - I was again consumed with total fear about what my future holds. Jesus heard me and answered my ardent prayers through her. I just have to be patient and trust.
I also fondly remember sitting at Chipotle with Caroline reminiscing on our friendship and all of the missions we have gone on together. If you told me three years ago that this girl was going to be one of my best spiritual friends, I couldn’t have imagined the incredible journey God set out for us. God is a God of abundance! Since our pilgrimage to Lourdes, we have been to Fatima and served as summer missionaries at Life Teen’s Camp Hidden Lake, on the SAME session, mind you which was not planned! God has been so good to me and given me more than I could have ever fathomed.
"God has been so good to me and given me more than I could have ever fathomed."
So as I sit here today, apprehensive about my future, I know who holds it. I know who has a plan for me, a plan that is greater than anything I can imagine.
Maybe you are in a time of suffering (and the season of Lent tends to do that to ya). Maybe you are in a difficult situation. Maybe you are consumed with anxiety and doubting God’s goodness. It’s okay. I’ve been there.
Look back at everything God has done in your life and know that He’s not done yet. If Jesus died on the cross and that was the end, we wouldn’t have a resurrection. Sister, there is a resurrection!
Sometimes, when we give God our hearts, He just has to mend them. He has to work on the brokenness we have picked up along the way and make us new. He makes all things new.
This season of waiting for what is next, waiting for our resurrection, requires us to trust that God is in the boat with us.
He does not leave us orphaned.
He does not leave us without a Guide.
He is here.
He hears you.
He loves you.